Bye bye baby bye bye
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I want to explode and congeal at the same time. Its hard to keep it toghther whilst being ripped to shreds. I laugh cause if I don’t I’ll cry like a baby. Its a small world but its a harsh one where every handhold you have is precious. I feel like I have no home right now, nothing even close. Maybe if I stay up all night tomorrow won’t happen. Maybe the world will change into what I want it to be. Maybe if I stay up all night I can defeat tomorrow. Catch it at the gates and beat its ass into submission. I just. There are better people in my life that I deserve and it sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks to leave them behind. Tomorrow will happen. And I will do good things. I will love people. And I will do my best to make things better. But I want to go there with these good people. I want to say I got here becuase of you. I want to support you and you support me. Where there is hatred let me sow love, where there is despair, hope, darkness, light. This is life. Life. Life. This is the only part of life that makes much sense to me. I miss you already. Every last one of you. You know who you are. I want a better place where the night is not so bold and the air so full of smoke. I want to see the sun. I want beauty and love. I want home. I’m not lost though. You can’t be lost where you don’t belong. And this is not home. We sail ships of the air. To places we don’t know. Can’t see. Can’t touch. Can’t fathom. Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give me today what you know I need. Forgive me my tiny faith. Lead me to what is good. For this is all yours. I have no claim. No right. Where there is doubt, faith.
